Latham finds his way home

Todd says his story begins one day while at work when they had some product that they were sorting because some of it was bad, and they were trying to figure out which lot the problem started. They began moving boxes, some weighing 50-60 pounds. “I reached over a skid, moving boxes, and pulled something in my back. I couldn’t bend over after that,” said Todd. “I played sports growing up, so a back injury was nothing new.” When Todd went to the doctor, the waiting room was standing-room only. The doctor came in, asked what was going on with him, and then gave him a prescription for pain pills. “He said to come back in a month,” said Todd adding he did that for about six months. “The office was always full, and the doctor never saw me for more than five minutes. The last time I went he said, ‘Well, I don’t think you need more of these. I think you’re fine.’ And he cut me off.”

Todd said he knew what alcoholism was because he’d been around it his whole life. He said he was drinking when he was younger, so he understood alcoholism. But he never did drugs, so addiction wasn’t something he knew about or understood. “When the doctor cut me off, and I walked outside, my body did something it had never done before. I started sweating and panicking,” Todd said. “I haven’t always been a preacher, and I know some people. So, my thinking was I’d get some pills to get me through a few days, and I’ll be fine. Well, that stretched out for five years when I used 40-50 pills daily. Ultimately, I was taking whatever I could get my hands on.”

When the doctor cut Todd off, the panic came in. “I think it’s the addiction that causes panic. It wasn’t that I was sitting there thinking and processing that maybe I’m an addict. Maybe it’s oh, you need this. I could space it out to where it wasn’t that bad at the time, but when I didn’t have any, my body reacted like it never had before,” said Todd. “The panic was scary. It was confusing, but I’m not processing what is going on. I didn’t use drugs. It isn’t like I’m a drug addict. My mom and dad were addicts.” But, Todd said it can happen to anybody, any age, no matter where you’re at in your life or your status. “When I went into rehab, I was there with doctors, lawyers, and other preachers. Many think addicts are people living under a bridge, needles stuck in their arms and scabs all over their faces. They can be functioning people in the hospital, standing behind the pulpit, and look normal to you. My wife had no clue I was using until the day I said I’ve got a 38 in my car. I’m fixing to blow my brains out. I need help.’ ”

One of the problems that faced Todd was not knowing where to can get help and not knowing there were places around where you could detox. “Detox was so painful,” said Todd. “Your body cramps and hurts, you sweat, and that’s the physical aspect. The mental side is that your world is ending now, and you don’t have another second. It’s GOING to end.”

When asked what pushed him to want to end his life, Todd said, “I was tired and sick of it. I didn’t want to wake up in the mornings. I got to the point where I didn’t want to live. I was tired of the chase, getting sick, and lying to my wife and kids.” But then Todd began really thinking about his kids. “The oldest was 12-13, and the youngest was 6-7 at the time. I didn’t want my kids to grow up without their dad, which was the toughest thing for me. I love my kids, so I called my wife and told her that I’m out in the field, and I’m getting ready to blow my brains out. And that was devastating for her. I wouldn’t be here today if it were just about me. When you’re going through active addiction, you think you’re not that important, won’t nobody miss you, you’re just a blip in eternity that nobody will think about. Later, I found out that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

Hitting rock bottom, Todd entered rehab and admits that he relapsed four times in the first two years. But he is happy to say he is now 11 years sober. It wasn’t easy for him, however, he was worried about the past and guilty because he was a preacher, letting a lot of people down, and breaking a lot of people’s trust. “My sponsor told me, ‘When you’ve got one foot in your past, and one in the future, you’re pissing on your present. This is all you’ve got. Slow down. Focus on what you’ve got to do today.’ The twelve-step program is spiritual, although some people will say it isn’t. My sponsor said, ‘We have to trust a higher power or God to take care of what we can’t. So you do what you do, and let God take care of the rest.’ And here I am.”

Latham hopes that those who need to hear his story understand and see that you don’t have to live this way. “Many people get stuck and think it doesn’t, won’t, it CAN’T get better. But it depends on our choices and our thinking. Our thinking has to change for our life to change. “The Bible says, ‘Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it proceeds the issues of life.’ You’ve got to work on yourself because everything else gets better when you work on yourself. Your perception of life is the life you get.”

A special message Latham has for people with active addiction is, “People with addiction have all this pressure. It’s like they’re in a vice. They don’t know which way to turn. All they know to do is put that drug in their bodies. I want them to know that the drug controls every thought you’ve got. It controls every action you do. The way to take back control of your life is to let go of the drug. Then you’ve got to relearn how to live. You don’t have to be that slave. You can be free. Jesus says, ‘Whom the son set free is free indeed.’ You can recover today. Go to detox. Go to a 28-day program. Find a medical facility with nurses who can monitor your health as you get the drugs out of your body. After 28 days, you’re still not healed, then you need long-term treatment, whether outpatient, a twelve-step group, or in-house treatment for somebody to tell you how to live.”

After being in different programs that worked to a point but didn’t fully help, Latham created Grace Recovery House. “These programs teach you all this stuff, and when you get out a year later, you have nothing. No money. No place to go other than where you came from. You still have all the fines, debt, and whatever to pay. Nobody taught you responsibility or how to deal with life issues. Nobody taught you how to budget or deal with money. I wanted to build a program with all these. I strive to build a program that offers or facilitates meeting those critical keys in recovery.”

Grace Recovery House helps with counseling of all kinds, and when specific types of counseling are needed that the recovery house is not certified in, Latham said they will help get you to the place you can go to get the counseling you need. They help get you to doctor appointments, get you set up with insurance, an ID, and a birth certificate, get a job and teach you how to budget money.

Latham has since returned to preaching, something he never believed he’d do again. He thought how was he, an addict, going to stand behind the pulpit and tell others how to live their life?

“I got to a point where I wanted to go back to church and called a deacon at Grace Baptist because that is where I attended when all of this happened. I said I don’t want to preach, but can I come back? I just want to attend church,” said Latham adding the deacon said, of course, he could. “Then one day they called me and asked if I’d preach the Sunday sermon because they still hadn’t found a new pastor, and the one they had for the day had an emergency and couldn’t come. I said let me think about it and call you back. I called back and said yes.” After that, Todd said they called, again and again, asking if he would preach. Eventually, they voted and asked him to be their pastor again.