Lists. Some of us live and die by them, some of us hardly take notice of them. Myself, I'm somewhere in the middle. If I want a grocery trip to result in anything other than Twinkies, an onion, some cheese, blue nail polish and 12 pounds of Halloween candy, a list is required. Otherwise, I'm just a mad woman wandering the aisles armed with a cart, the attention span of a hummingbird and the appetite of a ravenous, carb-addicted dinosaur.
Lists also come in handy when I'm feeling overwhelmed and a nap seems like a better solution than trying to figure out where to start on the 50,000 things I have to do at the moment. Naps always win unless it's put in writing that they should not.
I have noticed, however, that lately we seem to have become a society obsessed with lists. Have we become so lazy that we can't even read an actual article with complete sentences anymore? Every time a headline catches my attention, I click it either to find a video, or what seems to be the new go-to online information source -- the listicle.
10 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Love You More! 29 Must Read Books! 14 Colors to Paint Your Toes This Season! 17 Cats Sitting in Boxes! 10 Ways Taylor Swift Threw Shade at Katy Perry!
(Side note: When did shade become a bad thing? It's freaking hot in the sun, throw shade at me all day long please. Side note part two: #TeamTaylor.)
I'm not too proud to say the lists don't intrigue me. Who has time to read a few thousand words when there are so many cat videos and sped-up recipe videos to watch, anyway? My online time is limited, my quest for knowledge is not. I can see why the lists are taking over the world.
Anyway, since I am one to keep with the times and all, here's my latest contribution to the Era of the List. I've brainstormed some ideas for future columns:
Ten inexplicable things in my purse/car
Fifteen shows I'd like to watch but can't because the remote is lost and the TV is stuck on Cartoon Network
Eight things that make my house sticky
Twenty toys that will get stuck in your vacuum hose
Twenty toys that will not get stuck in your vacuum hose, so go ahead
Top five table manners my kids can't remember
My kid's top 10 reasons vegetables are Satan's offering
Ten ways to avoid all the people
Check out these 25 pictures of my dog begging for food
Check out these 25 pictures of my kids begging for food after they just ate
Top five unidentified things in my fridge
50 things my kids can remember they need to do right after I tuck them in
Did I miss anything? Feel free to send me a list at email@example.com.